Untold Romance
by ChibiErinn-chan
Summary: Just a sweet Usa/Mamo fic...on how Usa saved his life. It's told from Mamoru's POV.


(I thought I was no one  
  
My life was complete lonliness  
  
But then, one day, I discovered, that I was a man)  
  
   
  
So you may have noticed, that I, Chiba Mamoru, teased  
  
an odango'd  
  
girl, without mercy. She  
  
seemed to hate it. But a part of me, told me that she  
  
didn't. And I  
  
teased her...because I loved  
  
her....so very, very much......  
  
Would you care to hear about my story on my  
  
Usako.....and how she  
  
saved my life?  
  
********************************************************  
  
  Fall....1999....  
  
My name was Chiba Mamoru. That's the name that I went  
  
by. I don't  
  
know to this day whether it's my real  
  
name...well..actually, I do. My  
  
real name is Endymion. I never remembered ever being  
  
happy. I knew  
  
I  
  
must have been happy for a time,because my heart told  
  
me that I once  
  
had very loving parents. When I was seven, my parents  
  
were killed  
  
and  
  
so was I. You see,a certain part of me died along with  
  
my parents; I  
  
know that...for a fact...even though I didn't really  
  
know them...or  
  
at least any longer. After our automobile crash, I  
  
formed amnesia. I  
  
didn't receive any brain dammage...but the experience  
  
of my parents  
  
dying and experiencing such a grim night, I formed  
  
amnesia; my  
  
subconscience didn't want to ever remember that  
  
night...and in result  
  
the memory of my parents dying and all other memories  
  
of them, were  
  
wiped away...seemingly forever.  
  
I was never really happy. I thought something was  
  
always missing and  
  
the people in the orphanage who worked there and even  
  
the kids,  
  
weren't very nice to me. I have no idea why they  
  
didn't like me; in  
  
the beginning I was very nice to everyone. I just  
  
craved attention. I  
  
was very helpful to children and I even smiled a  
  
lot..but still...no  
  
one liked me. It's a very hard feeling to  
  
experience...lonliness. I  
  
felt so hurt..and so alone in the world. I started  
  
locking myself in  
  
my room...having hardly any contact with any one.  
  
Instead of people  
  
trying to help me..a poor and lonely boy, they just  
  
left me alone and  
  
made my heart hurt even more.  
  
My heart learned to toughen up...though, I was never  
  
really mean. I  
  
was just distant. Is there any harm with that...I  
  
didn't want people  
  
to get to know me a little and then disregard me, like  
  
I was trash. I  
  
didn't want to get hurt, ever. My wounded heart from  
  
my childhood  
  
never healed. I craved this feeling, however...I  
  
didn't want to be  
  
alone any longer..but then, I did! Lonliness is a bad  
  
thing...it's a  
  
horrible thing to experience...but so is getting hurt.  
  
What if I  
  
tried to get to know someone..but then it didn't work  
  
out...that  
  
would be another rejection. I didn't want rejections.  
  
I couldn't  
  
handle it.  
  
But when I was 19, I one day realized that I had a  
  
friend. It  
  
bewildered me. I had a friend..well..sort of. There  
  
was this guy that  
  
I would talk to in the local arcade. He treated me  
  
like everyone  
  
else..but he was a special guy who took the time to  
  
help others...he  
  
was a generally happy person and he wanted everyone to  
  
be happy.  
  
Each day I went there with my troubled face, he would try  
  
and cheer me up...eventually, I let myself get cheered up. I  
  
learned what it was like..to smile. He helped me a little. He was sorta a  
  
friend...he  
  
was...Motoki. His eyes were a deep emerald color..and  
  
he had shiny  
  
blond hair..and he seemed like the typical 'boy next door.' He wasn't  
  
handsome..but was..cute..I guess...I mean, all the  
  
girls flocked to him...he was kind..helpful..and not conceited...he was  
  
an ok guy. My sorta friendship..bewildered me, however. It was so  
  
new...I felt like I gave an itty bitty piece of myself to Motoki..and I  
  
wasn't ready to do that...I felt strange..friendship..feelings...sorta  
  
caring for someone..what a scarry feeling...  
  
Two days later, I met Usa.  
  
(I found that I was alive  
  
I found that I had a heart somewhere  
  
I found...that you made me a man)  
  
My first conversation was quick. I acted  
  
ok...To anyone who may have seen me on that day, would  
  
have said that I wasn't affected by her. But If you could read people  
  
right..If you could tell how special Usa was...If you could just  
  
feel who she was,  
  
you would know she was very special. And If you could  
  
read me...which all you had to do..was use an itty bit of your  
  
heart..to sense how I was, you would know how lonely I was..and how perfect  
  
were were for each other...Usa..was perfect for me...even though we got into an  
  
arguement,I knew Usa didn't put her heart into arguments..and in the  
  
back of my heart, I knew she didn't like fights..and I knew..she  
  
didn't nor ever would..mean anything in our 'fights' together..with  
  
each other. She was a very kind person. I wasn't. I  
  
had dark hair and  
  
I wasn't happy. She had light hair and she was happy.  
  
I was a dark cloud..and she was the sun...I was drawn to her....and  
  
a part of me..fell in love with her...that one day..that first  
  
day...so cute, I thought..so happy...so unique...that was my Usa.  
  
My first words to my Usa...were:  
  
"That hurt, Dumpling head!"  
  
and her fist words back....  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
   
  
 I barely heard her...because I was focusing at that  
  
thing  she threw at my  head. Usa  had thrown her crumpled test paper at  
  
me. To prolong staying with her, I commented on her bad grade..and it was bad...and I was concerned...only I didn't realize it 'til  
  
much...much later...heck, I didn't realize what Usa meant to me..really...until  
  
the day that I first died, as Chiba Mamoru.  
  
   
  
I was on the side walk..on one of Tokyo's busier streets. I was walking  
  
behind a cute looking...14 or so..year old. She looked cute enough from behind. I felt a little weird..being behind  
  
this girl...and..that scared me. I had felt compelled to talk with her.  
  
After something of her's hit my head...my heart said  
  
'here's my chance.'  
  
My brain...did not say what a part of me was...-I  
  
suppose, now, that it  
  
was my heart....or maybe it was my soul...Because, an  
  
itty-bitty part of  
  
me..that weird part...that lonely part of  
  
Mamoru..-said "I love you." *I  
  
didn't pay much attention to that voice that day...but  
  
later on...I started to analyze that voice....*My brain told me  
  
mouth to say something completly different, however.  
  
Remember...?...I told you that I had commented on her  
  
lousy grade...  
  
********************************************  
  
"Thirty Percent...?..You can do better than that,  
  
Dumpling Head." My voice was a little cold...the girl could have done  
  
better...yes, the  
  
beautiful..and cute...girl, could have done better. I was experiencing  
  
one of those times...kinda like you know something...but then...you're  
  
denying knowing that something...It's all very confusing. I was very  
  
confusing..hell...I was a little cold...and..  
  
stiff..to anyone who looked at me...but I was a torn man. I was  a man who was in love. My heart did flip-flops..but I pushed that feeling away...cold,  
  
horrible men don't fall in love....they can't. They shouldn't.  
  
"What business of it is your's, anyways?" The petite  
  
girl retorted at me.  
  
Now, I guess I deserve that. But I wasn't about to say  
  
that I'm sorry...I only say sorry If I have to..and those are  
  
bull...ahem, crud apologies....I say I'm sorry..so I won't get fired or  
  
anything...and with  
  
her.. I thought...why should I show any emotion to her...I wasn't  
  
caring..I wasn't supposed to be...But remember..I'm not a mean guy..If  
  
I told her I'm sorry, I would have lost a piece of my  
  
soul to her....she had this bewitching power...besides..I felt drawn to  
  
where I was...I think part...well..I know know...part of it was  
  
because of her..but part of  
  
it was because of the...weird feeling I felt there.  
  
*******************************  
  
Now..I'm telling you....don't forget this.......Just  
  
like I just told you...I  
  
liked her....  
  
   
  
I *knew* that I liked the girl; I just wasn't ready to  
  
admit it. I didn't admit  
  
how much..but I liked Odango. She was cute, anyone  
  
could see that.  
  
She was special,too. All of her friends spoke of how  
  
kind she was and  
  
when we fought Fiore they reflected on how she had  
  
helped each of  
  
them. Usa was kind. I knew she was a kind  
  
person....even though she  
  
wasn't 'kind' to me. After I said that she could do  
  
better..and I believed  
  
she could...she went into a hissy fit and left me. She  
  
said to herself  
  
that I was weird...weird...?...no...I Chiba Mamoru am  
  
not weird...only  
  
lonely....  
  
Well, actually, I was weird. That morning, I woke up  
  
and I felt weird. I couldn't explain it. I felt like I wasn't myself and  
  
that I wouldn't be until I found something...no..someone. I knew in my heart that I had a destiny and a mission...to find someone..I just didn't  
  
know how or when....and then...that afternoon, I was drawn to  
  
OSAP. It was a nice jewerly store and that was where I met Usa. Something  
  
had drawn me there..I could sense this weird feeling there. That night, I felt like I had actually gone in and did something there...very strange.  
  
Later on, I found out that I was a hero...of sorts...I could sense evil and  
  
throw magical roses and I fought using my cane. My purpose seemed  
  
to have been to help a young heroine named Sailor Moon. She was  
  
cute...utterly adorable. She had light blond hair and gorgeous baby  
  
blue eyes. She was small and petit...and was just...kwaii...I felt an urge  
  
to protect her...so I helped her fight and tried to give her confidence.  
  
Later on, I would find out that she was Usagi...but  
  
Usagi  was totally  
  
different than Sailor Moon.  
  
Sailor Moon was nice enough..and cute enough...and  
  
caring enough...but she was just different from Usagi. Now, I had thought  
  
they were two different people for a while...I had helped Sailor  
  
Moon in OSAP. She was scared and crying...and like I felt an urge to protect  
  
her. I came to her rescue; I had helped her out. I felt connected to  
  
her..but It wasn't that hard to leave her. I didn't feel as quite a big  
  
of urge to stay with her..as I did with Usagi..call it weird...I mean,  
  
I should have had  
  
a bigger urge to stay with her...I MEAN the poor kid  
  
was with zombie kids who wanted her dead..and some kind of  
  
freaky....dead...?..thing! Sailor Moon may have been scared a lot but to stay and  
  
to battle made her brave. I admired her more and more each day when  
  
she would tough it out..and try and be better and stronger. She had a lot  
  
of potential. I think the third recruit, Mars, saw that too. Rei had  
  
shown a sort of  
  
'tough love' with Usagi...*hmm...my Usa.*  
  
Sailor Moon was just different from Usagi...or  
  
Usa...As Usa...she was more vibrant...more colorful..more cheerful...more  
  
alive. I had fallen in love with both of them....that very  
  
first day.  
  
A part of me adknowledged that. And then, a part of me  
  
denied that. My  
  
whole self...*as a whole* knew there was something  
  
special about  
  
Usa...and something special about Sailor Moon.  
  
If you think...that I didn't like  
  
Odango....Dumpling...you were very  
  
wrong. I may have been a little cold...or a little  
  
gruff..but when you  
  
love someone...when you fall in love with  
  
someone...and you don't know  
  
why or how...and when you feel like you shouldn't  
  
deserve to fall in  
  
love...when you've become so introverted...that you  
  
learn to *guard  
  
yourself..* when you're the only person that loves  
  
you...the only person  
  
who's special to you..*and let me tell you...I didn't  
  
think I was even  
  
too special..,* you become afraid of love. You become  
  
afraid of that  
  
person you love...and...  
  
YOU ACT STUPID....  
  
or mean. I suppose that I really could have hurt Usa's  
  
feelings..maybe I  
  
did...but I knew that what she yelled at me..she  
  
didn't mean...and that  
  
made me the happiest person at times.....  
  
And if you people think that I didn't fall in love  
  
with Usa..until I  
  
found out that she was Sailor Moon....*which wouldn't  
  
be..because I  
  
loved Usa more..* or that I didn't really..or  
  
even..love her, 'til we  
  
found we were destined to be together....or that I  
  
didn't fall in  
  
love..completely..until that day I was killed...as  
  
Mamoru..or...Chiba  
  
Mamoru....then..you're sadly mistaken.  
  
The day I fell in love with Tsukino  
  
Usagi...Usa...Dumpling Head....my  
  
Usako*My little bunny..* was a whole month before I  
  
died......  
  
I almost told Usa everthing that night..and maybe  
  
in..*some* sort of  
  
way...I did....  
  
(My very soul.  
  
My very essence.  
  
Those very things I never had..  
  
That I always had missing..  
  
You gave to me..  
  
**You were a thief...who turned 180 and gave me my  
  
heart  
  
my soul..my life..and your love.**  
  
********  
  
It was a full moon...it was a little after  
  
midnight.....  
  
and I heard Usa's voice...  
  
"Mamoru?" So softly she spoke...  
  
   
  
   
  
(Lighted by the light  
  
Of the blessed moonlight  
  
You are gorgeous  
  
You seem eternal  
  
Angel..you are!)  
  
    A part of me had known that first day, that no one  
  
could hold a candle to Usa's beauty.  Really, it's the  
  
truth.  Usa  
  
was young and looked young too, but still her young  
  
face and body made her far more beautiful than any  
  
other  
  
woman.  
  
    I did not realize that Usagi was beautiful that  
  
first day.  I realized it, actually, one night when  
  
she was Sailor Moon.  
  
I had thought Sailor Moon had looked so serene and  
  
heavenly one night...And I had learned how beautiful  
  
my  
  
Usagi..my Usa..My Usako was.  One night after a younma  
  
attack, I gazed at her...and my breath caught! She was  
  
so  
  
perfect...and so small..Her hair was the brightest  
  
yellow...like a golden coin..her hair was a beautiful  
  
golden maine..it  
  
was illuminated by the moonlight. Her eyes were the  
  
darkest shade of azure..Usa had looked so beautiful...  
  
(Angel, I know you are  
  
You are so heavenly,  
  
I'm almost afraid to look..  
  
At you  
  
So pretty,  
  
Just so pretty..)  
  
*If ever a man was so in love....*  
  
I had my eyes glued to Usagi.  
  
My heart had told my head a clear  
  
chunk of words: a poem...  
  
Oh Gods, it was so beautiful...  
  
But the real shocker, was: Usagi had heard it!  
  
I knew she had heard it. I could just tell...  
  
"I...heard...you...Mamoru?! She was a little scared..I  
  
could *just* tell...My poor..poor...Usako...She must  
  
have been  
  
wondering what kind of freak was I...  
  
I had no facade on...She only glanced at me a moment  
  
longer after she had said that. I took in what she was  
  
wearing..a blue nightgown...a light shade..so  
  
pretty..that only the blue shade of her eyes were a  
  
prettier blue...  
  
But a moment after my face showed true emotion...I  
  
masked myself.  
  
You..well..I couldn't imagine what she must have  
  
felt...All I knew is that she couldn't love me..she  
  
shouldn't..and she  
  
shouldn't feel sorry for me...  
  
So..Mamoru-baka..the college bastard..took his  
  
place..Usa..could..*never* know...  
  
"Heard what..Dumpling?" My voice was pretty  
  
monotone..as usual. *Good.* My eyes showed  
  
annoyance...*good..*  
  
"Don't tell my you're pyschotic,  
  
D-U-M-P-L-I-N-G..."*good..* "..H-E-A-D..." I gave her  
  
a sly smile...and then I tossed my  
  
head up..and laughed...  
  
I don't know why my mind said that...I always teased  
  
her...Always a part of my mind said she was just some  
  
annoying  
  
girl...How could I love the Dumpling...I wasn't  
  
nice...I was never...*me..*..I wasn't happy like she  
  
was...Never..before..had a part of mine said that I  
  
liked the Rabbit of the Moon...  
  
I didn't understand it that night at all...nothing was  
  
really different...about her..about  
  
me...why..why...did my mind say  
  
that...why...did my *heart* say that...  
  
That night..I didn't know my heart had said that...I  
  
didn't even know I had a heart...  
  
Maybe it was the beauty Usa had...for she didn't look  
  
cute like she normally did...she looked beautiful..or  
  
maybe it  
  
was the moonlight...I wasn't sure It was a full  
  
moon..but it looked like it could have been...  
  
But for some reason...my heart told me that  
  
night..that I was in love with the Rabbit..  
  
I then had a dilemma...I then realized..that I *may*  
  
have been in love with Tsukino Usagi...  
  
"But it's not possible." I said..walking home that  
  
night...  
  
(What do you do to me..  
  
Could you be a witch, too?  
  
You're twisting my heart  
  
With your invisible hands..)  
  
(You make me hungry..  
  
But I couldn't..just couldn't..  
  
Say: "I want you.." and stay...  
  
I am not suppossed to love..  
  
I am unworthy of love..  
  
I should just run away..  
  
far into the night..  
  
Away from you; away from love..)  
  
*******************  
  
God knows what Usa had thought when I treated her bad.  
  
I don't know why she had wondered to where I was. Did  
  
she run  
  
away? No..she was in her nightgown. Did she have a bad  
  
dream? Maybe.  
  
She shouldn't have been out. Tokyo is huge..and she is  
  
so little, but I wasn't supposed to care. Why should I  
  
have cared about  
  
a little annoying girl.."Dumpling Head!"  
  
I had told her she was crazy for hearing what I  
  
thought. She wasn't...but I hope she thought that -I  
  
hope....I hope that she was  
  
mad at me..I hope she thought it was all her  
  
imagination...after all..Mamoru-baka...didn't like  
  
her...he couldn't possibly like  
  
her...!  
  
(I am a chicken...that cannot run.  
  
I feel like I'm frozen..  
  
I guess, I will learn of love...  
  
And cry when I give my heart to you...  
  
Even though I've always wanted love..)  
  
****One month earlier...***  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" A girl named Tsukino  
  
Usagi...screached.  "DO NOT TALK ABOUT THAT BAKA  
  
HERE!"  
  
"Oh..Usagi. Stop being so childish when it comes to  
  
Mamoru-san." A raven haired yelled. Her hair was the  
  
darkest  
  
black..with beautiful deep plum purple highlights. Her  
  
eyes..were a deep violet. Hino Rei was one of Tsukino  
  
Usagi's  
  
friends...Usagi...was a girl..with a man..problem.  
  
"Rei-chan..I cannot stand him. Why...why do you even  
  
date that baka?" The smaller girl's eyes were smaller.  
  
Usagi  
  
could not understand how *anyone* could date the likes  
  
of Chiba Mamoru. He was a cute with cutting remarks  
  
and  
  
mean expressions.  
  
"Usagi! Mamoru-san is a great guy! There's nothing  
  
wrong with him. He's handsome and nice..and that's why  
  
I'm  
  
dating him." Rei had replied.  
  
"Then why are you still calling him Mamoru-SAN?" Usagi  
  
retorted..her eyes slitted.  
  
"BAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKAAAAAA!"  
  
Usagi had had a simple blue dress on. Rei had on tight  
  
black pants...a white blouse that was notted so her  
  
navel could  
  
be clearly seen...and black boots on. While Usagi's  
  
hair was in her 'dumplings,' Rei had her dark, long  
  
hair in a high  
  
pony tail.  
  
"Baka!"  
  
   
  
"Baka!"  
  
   
  
"Baka-Rei-chan"  
  
"Baka-USAGI!"  
  
"BAKA!" A deep male voice boomed. Both girls, seated  
  
in a booth with red cushions looked up. Next to both  
  
Rei and  
  
Usagi, stood a very tall..and a little annoyed Chiba  
  
Mamoru.  
  
"You two could be heard a mile from here..While I know  
  
the Arcade is right next door, it's still no excuse to  
  
be loud  
  
mouthed bakas in this juice parlor!"  
  
"I hate Chiba Mamoru!" A young girl screeched outside  
  
of the parlor. The young girl's cheeks were puffy and  
  
her  
  
eyes..cloudy and a darker blue than usual. Tsukino  
  
Usagi...was mad.  
  
"Mamoru-baka!" Th young girl screamed and ran off.  
  
Chiba Mamoru didn't hear the young girl..he was  
  
focused on Hino Rei..but he felt a *tug* in his  
  
heart...~weird feeling..~  
  
he thought...  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
"Ohh..she was certainly annoyed...and certainly cute."  
  
I always bothered her..I always annoyed her...she must  
  
have  
  
hated me...she treated everyone else nicer than she  
  
ever treated me...  
  
I know I was the one to be mean first...even if she  
  
didn't freak out about me holding her test paper, I  
  
still would have  
  
said something snide...I guess she felt that I would  
  
have, too...  
  
But Usa never tried to be nice to me...she never tried  
  
to see me...She seemed to see everyone else so  
  
clearly...  
  
She knew when everyone else had a bad day...or she  
  
could tell...people's real character...  
  
she couldn't tell mine, though...Like I said once  
  
before, I never thought myself to *really* be mean...  
  
I'm just protective of myself...and lonely.  
  
I had to act a little cold and distant...I couldn't  
  
let anyone know me...I guess I was especially cold to  
  
Usa..only because  
  
she could have discovered how I truly was...BUT she  
  
didn't...and....  
  
and I guess I felt a little upset at that....Usa  
  
thought I hated her...*even* I for a while, thought I  
  
did..but then I put the  
  
clues together....  
  
One day I just realized how I really acted..and what  
  
it all meant...It's like one day...you wake up..and  
  
things that  
  
seemed foggy..are suddenly clear..it's like a new  
  
begining...*or something.*  
  
I can't really describe how I feel too  
  
effectively..it's just like...you see some person  
  
everyday..and one day...you say  
  
~wow~ that person is hot...and then you realize..that  
  
you can't live without seeing them..and then you  
  
discover  
  
that...you had spent a lot of time with them...or that  
  
you would steal glances at them..and even act a little  
  
different  
  
than you normally do....  
  
Let me tell you...love is funny...it really  
  
is...People say love is blind..and real love is...  
  
I think I love Usa more than people who say they fell  
  
in love at first sight...because love *is* blind...I  
  
know I had a big  
  
natural defense mechanism in me...that told me..that  
  
no one could love me..and to let no one get close to  
  
me...but I  
  
think everyone has a little part of them like  
  
that....mine was just bigger...  
  
It took me awhile to realize I was in love with  
  
Usa...love is scary...love is weird..it's something  
  
that beckon's you...so  
  
you are a little blind to love...  
  
I partially fell in love with Usa..that night I met  
  
her at midnight...that night...I was in the park..when  
  
Usa came across  
  
me...I come there to think...parks are just so  
  
beautiful..and serene. It beckon's me..but that kind  
  
of pull is okay...  
  
the weird pull..was...the almost non existant one..the  
  
one that was really faint for a while..but very much  
  
there with  
  
Usa...that pull was with Sailor Moon, too..and  
  
with...*My* Princess.....  
  
she was beautiful...just perfect....she requested my  
  
aid everytime I saw her in my dreams...she had the  
  
prettiest  
  
voice...and she would always call: "Help me, My  
  
Endymion." I always saw tears run down her cheeks  
  
afterwards. She  
  
was of a small frame...slim..with such beautiful  
  
golden hair...  
  
I *felt* connected her her...I felt like I was her  
  
protector. In my dream, I kept trying to help her..but  
  
I couldn't...and she  
  
would keep saying: "Help me Endymion, help me love!"  
  
Later on, I would find out that...she was Usa...a past  
  
form of her...  
  
(You can tamper with my heart...you can crush my  
  
heart...so I am afraid...  
  
I'm afraid because I love you..  
  
Afraid because I'm vulnerable..  
  
Afraid...that once I have you..  
  
You might one day go away...  
  
I wouldn't be able to bear that..  
  
Should you throw my heart away...  
  
Why...I wouldn't be able to bear that.)  
  
***********  
  
When Zoicite was threatening Usa...I felt such  
  
anger...It was like "how could you even think to hurt  
  
her..."  
  
I wanted to protect Usagi...I had this urge to protect  
  
her...I had thought Usa to be cute..and a great  
  
person..I admired that she  
  
was usually so happy..but also a little jealous...She  
  
was so happy..and I was always so sad...  
  
I knew I liked Usa. I didn't know how  
  
much...though..and I was afraid that I could fall in  
  
love with her...  
  
she was just so alive...so happy..so pretty...  
  
That night in the park..flashed in my mind...I  
  
realized that a part of me was trying to say that I  
  
was in love with Usa...and I did  
  
fall in love with Usa...but not completly..because you  
  
don't fall in love with someone completely until you  
  
realize *just* how  
  
they mean to you.  
  
I tell you that night..Usa almost died...Zoicite  
  
almost killed her...but I got into Usa's way...  
  
I got into Usa's way..because I loved her so  
  
much...not to say that If I didn't love Usa..or love  
  
her a lot..I would have let her  
  
die..that's not it..not it at all.  
  
*******  
  
It all started when my Princess told me to get the  
  
crystals....only when I got these special  
  
crystals..which they were..I would  
  
know what my true mission is..and who she is (the  
  
Princess). I felt like a whole part of me has been  
  
missing...ever since that  
  
automobile accident...I had never felt completed or  
  
whole...but I knew that If I found those  
  
crystals...those Rainbow  
  
Crystals..then everything about me..would fall into  
  
place..and maybe some of my lonliness would desist.  
  
I cannot tell you how much lonliness hurts...It's a  
  
shroud...a dark shroud...and it makes you feel  
  
depressed...and it makes you  
  
feel alienated...it's horrible...this feeling....  
  
My enemy...a general from this dimesion...the  
  
Negaverse...was strong and cold hearted...he was  
  
slim..and had a feminine  
  
face..long blond hair, too...and was ever so  
  
annoying...he wanted those crystals for evil  
  
purposes...I couldn't let him have  
  
it...and I need them.  
  
One day, the enemy struck a deal for the crystals...a  
  
duel of sorts...and of course...I accepted...but Usa  
  
got mixed up in the  
  
mess..because she followed me..to the mapped out  
  
destination; the battleground. She had followed me  
  
that day because I was  
  
injured..and she found out...so...  
  
Usa got mixed up..she got involved in my  
  
problem...which troubled me..a lot...  
  
and with each close call she had....I got even more  
  
pissed...at myself...Usa was getting hurt..and it was  
  
because of me...  
  
with each close call...more thoughts swam in my  
  
mind..like: this shouldn't be happening, why Usa? She  
  
didn't do anything, I  
  
must protect her...and so on..  
  
I kept on thinking "Why would he want to hurt Usa? I  
  
can't understand that. She's too sweet and innocent to  
  
die...  
  
And then...I had flash backs...to different times when  
  
I ran into Usa...and *then* I remembered..I *saw* with  
  
clear images in  
  
my mind...my face after she left me...all those  
  
times...I *saw* myself smile a little..or I *saw*  
  
something flash in my eyes...and  
  
then I also realized that I would miss running into  
  
her...I remembered that every morning..the corners of  
  
my mouth would  
  
twitch..when I thought about how I would run into  
  
Usa..in the afternoon..and I realized, too, that  
  
for some reason...every day of mine...would be better  
  
in the evening..than in the morining and early  
  
afternoon....  
  
and I realized..that was so..because of..Usa!  
  
I also had thoughts in my mind talking about how many  
  
things I know about Usa...like her favorite  
  
color..what her favorite food  
  
was...why would someone who doesn't like her...know  
  
all this stuff about her...?..  
  
There was that thought about Sailor Moon, too. I had  
  
thought she was beautiful..and I had thought that she  
  
was  brave...and a  
  
few minutes before I died for Usa..I had found out  
  
that Usa...was Sailor Moon.  
  
(A.N. he he..notice I'm using Usa a lot...no one else  
  
really does..and *My Little Bunny* should be used  
  
later)  
  
 I thought Sailor Moon was pretty..and so that  
  
meant..I thought Usa was pretty...and I realized..that  
  
everytime I saw Sailor  
  
Moon..I would almost blurt out Usako..  
  
(A.N. okay..it's later..he..he)  
  
Most importantly..thought..Is that I realized all  
  
these thoughts I had...I mean..I had thought these  
  
thoughts...but....I don't  
  
know...I really didn't realize some of these  
  
thoughts...or my whole self never adknowledged it...  
  
So, that one night when I fought this evil person....I  
  
sacraficed myself..to save Usagi..Usa...Usako...and  
  
even while I was struck  
  
by some of Zoicites black magic powers...I wasn't  
  
sorry I was sacraficing myself...in fact, I  
  
realized...even more..how much  
  
Usagi meant to me....  
  
While I was dying..My whole self screamed: I love  
  
Tsuking Usagi!!! My whole self knew I was in love with  
  
her...every  
  
cell..every fiber..said "love.."..I knew fully that I  
  
loved the Little Rabbit....  
  
and while I was dying...My heart and soul..told  
  
Usako..that I loved her...and her heart and  
  
soul...told me that she loved me...  
  
and even though I was dying...It took a small eternity  
  
for me to die...I asked Usagi in a tacit  
  
manner...how..and could she really  
  
love me...and she replied....  
  
"I loved you since that first day, Mamoru Chiba. You  
  
annoyed me so much...and I acted mad...but I realized  
  
later on..that I  
  
wasn't...and I could never be mad at you. I don't know  
  
why I didn't know..heart and soul..that I loved you  
  
that first day...or  
  
maybe..I did know...that first day.....just not  
  
fully...later on..I realized that I acted different  
  
towards you..because I loved  
  
you...and I still do..and I will always love you. That  
  
first day, when I looked at you, a part of me said  
  
that you could never love  
  
me...and I had such insecurities...and whenever you  
  
teased me...I never got mad..just upset...because I  
  
was then one step  
  
further away from receiving your love. Little by  
  
little, lately, I realized that you meant something to  
  
me...I just didn't know how  
  
much...but I know...and I always knew...that I love  
  
you! I really do! Please believe that...but I can't  
  
understand you loving  
  
me..."  
  
Something told me to calll her,  
  
telepathically...Selenity..and so I did..  
  
"I love you..because you're so happy and vibrant..and  
  
helpful..and beautiful...but I cannot understand why  
  
you love me..."  
  
"I always knew deep down..that you never really  
  
displayed your true self...and I know..that you're a  
  
great man...a brave  
  
man..and a caring man....and I know that you were  
  
lonely...and I just know, Endymion..that I love  
  
you...and I want to take  
  
your lonliness away..."  
  
"You already have, Selenity." I replied...I knew with  
  
every fiber of my being that she loved me...I still  
  
couldn't understand  
  
why..but she did...and I remembered that...my sould  
  
rememered that..but I think my soul..always knew...for  
  
my past self..I  
  
learned..was her past self....  
  
You see...I learned everything...I learned that Usa  
  
was my Princess...and Usa..was my lover in my past  
  
life..and I was her's in  
  
my past life...but my falling in love with her had  
  
nothing to do with our being lovers in our past  
  
lives...for I loved  
  
Usagi...first..with my heart..then with my soul...a  
  
part of my soul always loved her...but the majority of  
  
it....well...it didn't fall in  
  
love until my heart did...and that was in this life  
  
time...  
  
and I fell in love with Usa..before I knew of our past  
  
selves...for I fell in love with Usa before I met my  
  
princess...I know  
  
that...for every part of myself told me that...I met  
  
my Princess soon after Usa..but, still, I loved Usa,  
  
first. A small part of me  
  
told myself in the park..that I loved Usa most..not  
  
Sailor Moon..and not the Princess....nothing could  
  
compare with Usa...and  
  
even though they are the same....I love Usa..most...  
  
My last words to Usa...  
  
   
  
"I love you, Usa...Selenity...Sailor Moon...but I have  
  
always love *you..,* Usa most...My soul knows you're a  
  
part of  
  
Selenity..but It loves you most...in this life-time.  
  
You are you..and I am I..and we're a part of Selenity  
  
and Endymion..but we're  
  
also different...My name is Mamoru..and your's,  
  
Usako...I will love Selenity..but I will love you  
  
more..."  
  
"And I love you most, Mamo-chan...and our next  
  
incarnations will love us..and our past selves..but  
  
they will love their current  
  
selves, most...Selenity and Endymion...Usagi and  
  
Mamoru....I fell in love with you, Chiba  
  
Mamoru..because you're so kind..I  
  
*know* it..and I even love the practical side of  
  
you...and I love you..even though you were consumed  
  
with lonliness..I only-"  
  
"You did....take it away."  
  
And so...my body died...and my soul went away...but  
  
Beryl revived my body...and my soul was still on  
  
Earth..and I still loved  
  
Usa..because when Berly tried and tried..and  
  
tried...to make me evil..she never completely turned  
  
me evil...I still loved Usa..  
  
You see...people think I love Usa...because we were  
  
lovers in the past...and that may be a factor..or it  
  
might not be...I even  
  
hope it is...but I would have feel in love with  
  
Usagi..regardless..heck..I did...  
  
and people think I fell in love with Usagi only when I  
  
was about to die..but I didn't....I fell in love with  
  
her..that first day....the  
  
first day I met her....  
  
and all I have to say, is: Love is blind! It really  
  
is...  
  
and know..that If I didn't meet Usa...my life would  
  
have been unbearable...I looked forward to teasing  
  
her...and I teased her  
  
because I loved her...and my seeing her...made my  
  
day..bearable...and when we finally got together as  
  
Usagi and  
  
Mamoru...she took my lonliness away....  
  
Some people die from being lonely..but I  
  
won't..because Usa took it away...Usa..*My Usako..*  
  
saved my life...and if I didn't  
  
meet her...I probabally would have died....  
  
my lonliness was that bad....  
  
and now...I declare...My parents named me  
  
Endymion...but that doesn't mean I'm  
  
him...completely...I may have all of Selenity's  
  
Endymion's soul..but I was still different...and I'm  
  
not really Endymion now...let me tell you...I'm still  
  
very much Mamoru...It is  
  
the year 4090...and Mamoru has yet to fully die..."  
  
"Endy...you were wrong..you're parent's really did  
  
name you Mamoru." Selenity's soft words spoke...  
  
The End.  
  
   
  
   
  
   
  
   
  
|[pic][pic][pic][pic][pic]| | | | | |Free Credit Report | | |  
  
|[pic] | | | |undefined | | | |More... | | |  
  
|[pic] | | | |[pic] | | | |[Close] | | |  
  
|[pic] | | | |[pic] | | | |[Close] | | |  
  
|[pic] | | | |undefined | | |  
  
[pic][pic][pic][pic][pic][pic] 


End file.
